I am a triathlete. No, seriously. Last month I did a Sprint Triathalon. It was a 600 yard swim (for reals this time. Previously it was under that amount. I wish they waited til the next one to fix it), a 10 mile bike and a 5k run. Which I actually walked. But whatevs. I did it. In about 2 hours. Which is more than one hour longer than the first person crossed the finish line. Oh well! And all the well meaning people tell me that time doesn’t matter. Well, it kinda does a number on you mentally when you’re doing the last lap of the bike and some dude in a scooter keeps drafting me while yelling to every volunteer we pass “LAST ONE! THIS IS THE LAST ONE”.  A wee bit humiliating. I’m used to being passed at these things. I’ve actually done relays 3 other times and was always last. In fact, my Indian racing name is On Your Left. But this was my first full sprint tri and I did it! couldn’t have done it without the Makimaas. Like literally. After the bike I was a dehydrated, weeping mess and they actually walked the 5k portion with me. Brad Makimaa is my patron saint of Tri’s.

So after that simultaneously humiliating and unbelievably uplifting (which is kind of how I seem to live my life) experience, I’ve gone right ahead and signed up for another Sprint Tri (slightly longer, yikes) on December 1st. I’ve vowed to go into this one better prepared. I’ve started training more and that has been, well, pretty awful but getting better.

I started doing these as a way to lose weight. I don’t seem to be losing much yet so much as it’s just shifting around a bit. “hey look!!! my shorts are wicked loose around my waist!! oh wait, but they’re tighter on my ass. son of a…”  I’m told it will start coming off, but at this point, it seems to be like waiting for the Great Pumpkin.

I’ve decided to start a blog because of my insane desire to have people know everything there is to know about me. Kidding. Mostly. No, it’s a way for me to be accountable. For what I eat, how much I exercise, what my dog is doing. Blame the NHL lockout for this. I’m going to have some spare time coming up while the overpriced millionaires/billionaires decide who gets the biggest piece of the pie.

I hope you follow my exploits. I’ll try to be entertaining. I’ll probably offend. read, don’t read. Comment, don’t comment. your choice. After 41 years of being fat, yet athletic (though never ever graceful), I’m making a change. but kinda slowly. anyway, stay tuned…