I posted this original list 3 years ago! What?! Yup. And although running has gotten a little better (like, very little), it’s still my least favorite activity. Updates are listed in italics and updated notes (italics)
Go to a Nickelback concert (I mean, always at the top)
Go to a Jam Band festival (or see a Jam Band at just a normal length concert)
Wash my sheets in that hippie detergent that Robyn uses (give me bleach or give me death)
Allow my cat to keep biting me He’s stopped. So I’ll change it to wake me up by screaming. wait, is that where “caterwauling” comes from?
Watch any singing competition show
Get Bieber Fever
Eat Sweet Potatoes
Stay up all night This is no longer as scary as just staying up past my bedtime, never mind all night!
Smell cigarette smoke while eating a meal (or ever)
Have a conversation at 3 am with a stoned person at the Parrot See two up. I have zero reason to be at the Parrot at 3 am anymore. So convo with Stoned person at any time. Touch a snake I’ve actually been super up close and personal with a wild python recently. I’m over it.
Have cockroaches crawl all over me
Watch Hillary Swank in anything (including but not limited to 90210. GOD, she was awful on that) She’s still the worst.
Watch Two and a Half Men
Party with Charlie Sheen (well, after the first hour, cause let’s face it, that first hour must be fascinating)
Do a triathlon (ironic, n’est pa?) Ummmm…what? this is like my favorite thing ever now!
Read anything by Nicholas Sparks
See anything based on a Nicholas Sparks novel.
Listen to an audio version of a Nicholas Sparks novel.
Not slap Nicholas Sparks if I ever met him.
Go to Miami.
Listen to people from Miami yell at each other while I’m at work.
Watch Fox News first thing in the morning.
Go out in a mismatched outfit.
Wear neon camouflage It’s just too contradictory.
Listen to Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver announce ANYTHING And any announcers other than my home teams’
Go to Christmas Tree Shops
Listen to staticy radio
Watch Star Wars Episodes 1 or 2
Read a self help book
Brush my teeth after drinking orange juice
Eat Turkey Bacon (it’s just wrong)
Listen to Bono go on and on at a concert. Dude, like 99% of us here drank the Kool Aid. And the 1% are here ironically. Shut up and sing already.
Watch anything Bradley Cooper is in where he has hair representative of any time period before the mid 90’s. It just hurts my soul.
Watch any of the Garry Marshall holiday movies. Except for “Valentine’s Day”. Dammit, Bradley Cooper is just too hot.
Shower with chafe areas
Listen to somebody talk about being their diet being gluten free/vegan/plant based/meat based/whatever is trendy based. oy. can’t you just eat?
Sit in a meeting for more than 45 minutes.
Deal with my internet timing out while watching Netflix
Babysit Kanye West’s children. Or Kanye. Or Kim. Or any Kardashian/Jenner
Read any of the 50 Shades of Grey books or see the movie
Root for the Yankees, Habs or
Rangers. maybe not the Habs. Or the Yankees. Or the Rangers (I may have rooted Rangers last playoffs). Nevermind, I’ll run.