As I sat here mindlessly eating a(couple of) pumpkin shaped Reeces (the holiday ones are far superior to the regular) and wondering what to write about to relaunch my website, it hit me. The wonderful world of self-sabotage.

We’ve all been there? right? anyone? it goes like this:

It’s all mental, isn’t it. I’ve played sports my whole life and tho I’d never be considered a fantastic athlete, it all came kind of easily for me. Mainly cause running around playing sports on a team was super fun. Once I left school and school teams, it was individual sports. I did play tennis as an adult but even those times were either group lessons or doubles. a Team. I just seem to thrive in that environment so finding that community has been tougher as I’ve gotten older. Factor in aging, weight gain, etc and not being able to just do an athletic endeavor with relative ease and it’s become harder and harder to find the motivation or the “fun” of it all.

For those that have followed me in the past, you know I’ve done a lot of triathlons. But like nice lil Sprint ones lol. And though it is an individual sport, I found teams to be on which made workouts, races and post races more fun. Did I self-sabotage? HELL YEAH I DID! how? just got on myself mentally and let any little setback freeze my progress. Fight or Flight? nope. I turtle. I just stop and have a mental block.

When I signed up for Everesting 29029 (see previous blog post), I was worried about that once again. This time I surprised myself. I was working out on schedule, eating well, losing weight. well, that kinda came to a screeching halt about mid July. The troubled spot made it impossible to cycle, row (my favorite activity) and sometimes even hike or walk/run. I had massive fatigue and was just really surviving day by day though I didn’t realize how bad of mental shape I was in until I had the Vaginal Cyst (yeah) lanced and drained (twice! yay) and then got infected (yahoo). Two weeks of hell (but it could’ve been so much worse and all tests came back cancer free). What it did to me and this climb however, continues. It has been a STRUGGLE to get back into the great mode I was in all spring and early summer. The weight loss stopped. My stamina was a long time coming back.

I really started hitting my stride again in September and was feeling super good about the climb. I finally stopped mentally getting myself down, I started losing weight again and just felt really really strong. Then, 2 days ago, I effed up. I was walking my dog (not even doing like a training session) and looked at something shiny for a second and immediately tripped on some uneven pavement (my lifelong nemesis strikes again!). My right knee (which already has some arthritis) immediately swelled, I’ve got some road rash (despite wearing sweats) and I couldn’t bend it or put weight on it until today. FOOOORRRK. the event is 2 weeks away!!!!!! and I am hobbled. I’m icing, ibuprofen and doing some range of motion exercises and walking to loosen it up. Today the swelling is down but it’s still really painful to climb stairs. which is fine, it’s not like this entire event is CLIMBING!!!

anyway, that’s where I’m at now. down, but not out, dammit! Will update y’all!

Please follow me on social media and subscribe to this blog (all is at bottom on mobile or on the side if you look at this on a laptop/desktop). I had intended to blog all summer about my training but my website has been down. For those that follow, thanks for your patience!!!

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