I got a notice from WordPress the other day that my blog is two years old. Two years old! And I’ve written about a month’s worth of posts in 2 years time. Quite the output. I am the George RR Martin of the blogosphere. With (slightly) less bloodshed. And a lot less anticipation of my words.

Looking back at the first post is kind of crazy. I had just barely finished my first Sprint Triathlon. I remember very clearly standing on the dock waiting for the swim start so terrified of what was ahead of me that I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. My friend Sassy saw me and came down to the dock and gave me the best pep talk ever. Something to the effect of “stop it. get in the water”. Totally effective. I got off the bike and was so dehydrated and drained that I wanted to quit. My friend Brad made the dbag course sweeper wait and not only talked me into finishing the race, but he and Renee walked me the whole 5k. Brad (who was fairly new to Tri at the time) finished Ironman Kona this past Saturday! I’m sure I was his inspiration (KIDDING!).

Me at the end of my first Tri

My goal in starting this blog was to track my progress as I lost 100 lbs and hit podium after podium in a year. There would be book deals, and endorsements and talk shows. The cover of Triathlon magazine would be mine. Bradley Cooper would beg me to date him. I’d drop the puck at the Bruins Winter Classic and on and on and on. Well, 2 years later Bradley Cooper is dating a super model and I can’t even go to the Winter Classic never mind the weight I haven’t lost. oy. So what happened?

Well, it’s not that easy for a lot of us. (I know, waaa, waaa, waaa). I’ve had some health issues, injuries, low motivation points, etc. We all go through it. It’s just taking longer than I thought it would. This is a sport that not everybody does. Because it’s frickin’ hard. Especially if you struggle with weight issues.

One of the biggest struggles for me personally is the dang run. I’ve done about 17 sprint tris since that first one and the run is still the thing that gets me every single time. Every. Single. Time. I’ve started the Couch to 5K run approximately 1 billion times. I’ve worked with coaches. I’ve read a billion books. It’s all a mental block at this point. But I’ll keep trying! (ha! get it? TRIing)

Facebook reminded me today that it was one year ago this day that I finished the BAA (Boston Athletic Association) Distance Medley. I signed up for it to force me to face the running. To get the f out there and run! It was a 5k, a 10k and a Half Marathon all spaced out nicely for training. Well, I didn’t fully run any of the races. I ran/walked them all. But I finished them!

One year ago today

And F it. Who cares. I did it. And someday I’ll fully run those distances. I’ve got the SoMo Half Marathon on my radar for next year. I was fortunate enough to be able to work the finish line this past weekend as a volunteer and was once again moved to tears as I watched people accomplish their goals with so much heart! As I run my Tris, I’ll definitely be working towards that goal myself.

I think the lesson in all of this is to set realistic goals and to give yourself a break. The amount I mentally beat myself up for not living up to my expectations is ridiculous. If I heard someone saying the things to my friends that I say to myself, I’d kill them!!! I’ve learned that it just takes me a bit longer to reach my goals, and that’s totally fine (I feel like Stuart Smalley). I’ll likely never be the (seemingly) effortless amazing runner that my friends Rabbit and Bethany are, but I do believe that one day I’ll love running as much as they do!

So let’s all keep at it!